


Loving Imperfections

by StakeTheHeart



Category: Victorious
Genre: F/F, Hint of Bade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-03
Packaged: 2018-03-21 00:32:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3670824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StakeTheHeart/pseuds/StakeTheHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jade had made a lot of mistakes in her life but this one had to be the worst because it hurt the only person she ever really cared about, the only one who ever accepted all her flaws. She was foolish enough to let that person go, and now, she was regretting that choice more and more. She could only hope that Tori would forgive her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loving Imperfections

It was almost time for all visitors to leave but Jade couldn't find the will to move. She sat in the quiet room and stared with tired bloodshot eyes at Tori Vega. Her usually lively appearance was run down as she laid weak and silent on the hospital bed. Jade held her hand between her own and closed her eyes, bowing her head. The pain of what she did, what she caused Tori to feel, was too much. She was so stupid. She had Tori as her own, they were engaged, and she messed up. It was great. Being with Tori was the best thing in the world. Jade felt like everything would turn out okay as long as she had her. Their differences were finally put aside for once. But then, it all came back again. They would fight and sometimes they wouldn't exactly forgive. Jade struggled through the relationship and so did Tori. She should have known she wasn't good for her. She wasn't worth her love. She had told Tori this but she wouldn't listen. Now they were right back where Jade knew they would be, their relationship in tatters.

Jade found herself with Beck after he took the time to be there for her. They seemed to pick right back up and lacked the fights they always had before. Jade was going to marry him, and yet, she still couldn't get Tori out of her head. She just had a sinking feeling that even though she was happy again she still worried over how Tori was doing. They hadn't contacted each other since the breakup. The day of the wedding finally came and the strange feeling grew worse. Jade was all decked out and ready to leave the dressing room to walk down the aisle when her phone went off, drawing her attention to the device. Cat had told her not to have it on her but her weird premonition of roiling feelings kept her from listening. It was just too strong to ignore. She was glad she did because as it turned out the call came from the hospital. Tori had gotten in a serious accident.

She was informed of the incident because Tori still had her on the emergency call list and they weren't able to contact the others on the list yet so she had been contacted. Jade asked what happened and was told that a drunk driver ran Tori off the road last night. Her car was totaled and her body suffered some fractures. She quickly went into shock and then fell into a coma. They weren't sure if she would make it since her condition was unsteady so far. Jade remembered the panicked heartbreak that choked her. She couldn't breathe. She couldn't do it. What **was** she doing anyway? She couldn't marry Beck. Not now when her Tori was in a coma in the hospital at that very moment. She had to get to her. She rushed to throw on her previous clothes and ran out the door. She crashed into Cat on the way out. She was just about to ask Jade if she was ready but was sent back as the messenger to announce that the wedding was over.

Jade didn't give anyone any time to process anything and was gone seconds later. She barged into the hospital to learn that Tori had just gotten out of surgery and was resting in her room. She was stable for now but they were skeptical that she would stay that way. The gang and Beck each got a hold of her after she was all settled in Tori's room, after she sobbed over Tori's broken form, after she could get a hold of herself. She told them what hospital she was in and they said they would be there. She and Beck talked, but she couldn't handle anything at the moment besides making sure Tori was okay. He understood and backed down. He knew Jade couldn't be pushed at the moment, and even though he was going through his own conflicts, he would have to step away. So, that was what led Jade to sitting by Tori way past the setting sun. They couldn't force her to leave and she promised she wouldn't cause problems if they let her stay.

She begged them, on her hands and knees, for the first time in her life. They must have really pitied her because they allowed it. Too much was crowding Jade's mind at the moment but she pushed it all away, especially anything that had to do with Beck, and concentrated on Tori. She was convinced the sunny girl was the love of her life. Hell, she still believed it. Why had she walked away then? What the hell was the matter with her? She should have never left Tori, no matter how many times they fought. They were meant to be together and she was angry at herself for not seeing that sooner. Her heart had been trampled and wanted love. Tori provided that. But her head, her messed up head, kept giving her reasons why they couldn't work, how she wasn't worth it. She picked unnecessary fights, subconsciously pushing her away, because she knew Tori deserved better. But why couldn't she just accept happiness and fight for it? Tori kept telling her that she was worth everything she could give but she never accepted it. Why?

"Fuck," Jade gasped under her breath, tears falling again. She thought she was all cried out, but obviously, she wasn't done yet. Her grip on Tori's hand tightened slightly but she quickly let it go before they became a vice. She didn't know if Tori could hear or feel but just in case she made sure to treat her with care and mumbled loving words as well as apologies to her while she continued to cry. She wanted her to know how sorry she was for leaving her. She wanted her to know how much she still loved her. She made a mistake and she was regretting it dearly at the moment. Now, all she wanted was for her to wake up. She looked to Tori's expressionless face, waiting for her to open those soft brown eyes that she loved so much, but she remained silent and motionless. Jade gripped her hair in acute heartache and rested her elbows on the mattress. Her eyes squeezed shut and her tired mind began to drift. She had been there all day and so far almost all night. She hadn't eaten or relaxed her tense frame. She couldn't do anything but worry. Soon, it was all too much and her thoughts began to take her back to memories of the past as she fell into a restless sleep.

**_{I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart. But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start.}_ **

_Jade was tired of Victoria Vega. The beautiful half Latina was always flirting with her. And what was worse, she flirted horribly. Jade teased her about it in return but it didn't stop Tori from pursuing her. Her fails were actually pretty cute because her natural dorky personality shone through. The flirting might suck but that was what eventually won Jade over. She was currently leaning against her locker with her arms crossed. She was watching Tori waltz up to her with a sway to her hips. It seemed that she had found a little more sass since yesterday._

_"Vega, don't even think about it," Jade warned her. Tori ignored her and stayed put. Jade sighed and searched for something to make Tori leave._

_"Didn't I tell you to leave me alone?" she questioned haughtily. She hoped the onset of her wrath would scare Tori away without her having to do much._

_"You might of but I'm not sure. I'm not so good with history," Tori replied cheekily with a shrug and an underlying smile that agitated Jade further._

_"You know, I had a dream about you last night," she mentioned. Tori almost immediately became interested._

_"Really?" she asked, her voice conveying her sudden bashfulness._

_"Yeah, you died," Jade clarified in a monotone. Tori's hopeful smile fell to be replaced with one of stoic determination. She glanced down and then held out the cup of coffee Jade just now noticed. No, she was not too caught up in Tori not to take note of her favorite beverage._

_"I got you some coffee," Tori said with her bright smile returning._

_"You won't get points with me for being a suck up," Jade replied._

_"Humor me," Tori said in return. Jade rolled her eyes but took the cup from her._

_"Do you even know how I like it?" she asked. Tori fidgeted but nodded._

_"I like my coffee how I like myself; dark, bitter, and too hot for you," Jade told her with a smirk. She raised the cup to her lips and took a sip then paused. Tori waited, biting at her lip._

_"Well? How is it?" she wondered. A look of awe crossed Jade's face before she buried it._

_"It's alright. See you around, Vega," Jade responded, her voice quiet. She brushed past Tori while taking another drink of the coffee. Tori wasn't upset. She saw the way Jade reacted and knew it was just right. She grinned to herself and walked off, considering herself a step closer to getting Jade West to like her._

**_{You put your arms around me and I believe that it's easier for you to let me go. You put your arms around me and I'm home.}_ **

_It was a hot day in the middle of summer and Jade was not happy with the sun. Both the suns to be exact. The one hanging in the sky was a bother all on its own, but if that wasn't enough, her personal ray of sunshine was bothering her too. Tori was yanking on Jade's arm but she pointedly looked away with her arms crossed._

_"Jade!" Tori whined._

_"Vega," Jade replied blandly._

_"Please?" Tori begged._

_"No, I told you that bet was rigged! Technically I didn't lose," Jade growled._

_"Yes you did. You promised you would help Cat if you lost. I mean, how hard is it to help a friend?" Tori asked the stubborn goth._

_"Very hard," Jade answered._

_"Aww, come on. You know you wanna see me washing a car," Tori taunted, knowing that would butter her up. Jade's brow rose, making Tori inwardly celebrate._

_"Will you wear a bikini?" she inquired with mild interest. The flirty question caught Tori off guard but she took it in stride._

_"No," she answered simply, trying not to look surprised that Jade finally reciprocated._

_"Then why would it be any benefit to me?" Jade asked her._

_"Fine, I'll wear a white shirt," Tori compromised. Jade opened her mouth to argue but Tori crossed her arms and shot Jade a rare glare._

_"That's the deal. Take it, or take it," she stated firmly._

_"I suddenly feel very helpful now," Jade announced, smirking at Tori, impressed with her glare. Tori instantly relaxed and laughed then pulled Jade back outside where Cat had staged a neighborhood car wash._

_"Face it, I'm growing on you," Tori said with a playful poke to Jade's side._

_"No, you're not," Jade denied._

_"Aww, come on. I know I am," Tori continued, undaunted._

_"How do you figure?" Jade inquired. She was half curious despite growing more irritated by the second._

_"Oh, I just have a feeling. A sixth sense, if you will," Tori answered certainly. She poked Jade again who growled._

_"Yeah? Well your sixth sense sucks. And stop touching me," Jade demanded, pushing Tori's hand away._

_"But touching things is a part of life," Tori remarked with a huff and a glance at Jade._

_"Where did you hear that?" Jade asked her. Her anger had suddenly turned away from Tori and took aim on another who she was highly suspicious of._

_"Cat told me you said that to her that time you wrecked her mom's boss' guitar that Elvis signed. Remember?" she stated with a nudge to Jade's arm. She pushed Tori away again._

_"She knows too much…" Jade whispered ominously under her breath. Her fists clenched._

_"Jade," Tori said carefully, sensing an explosion waiting to happen._

_"What? I'm just going to politely tell her not to open her big mouth when it concerns me," Jade assured with a shrug. The hidden smirk promising pain was not lost on Tori, but her thoughts were reminded of something and she couldn't keep her own mouth shut._

_"Speaking of that. I heard about the whole nose picking debacle-" she began to say._

_"No! I told everyone, for the last time, I was **scratching** it!" Jade vehemently insisted._

_"Ok, sheesh. But seriously, don't," Tori told her, laying what she hoped to be a calming hand on Jade's arm._

_"Why not?" Jade questioned her, eyeing her hand but not removing it._

_"Just don't," Tori repeated. She was having trouble holding back a smile._

_"Fine," Jade gave up with a drawn out groan of exasperation._

_"See, I really am growing on you," Tori pointed out, her smile now showing up full force._

_"I hate you," Jade grumbled. She crossed her arms but Tori kept her hand on her arm so that when Jade's fingers rested on her own arm she placed them over Tori's. The young Vega didn't know if that was on purpose or intentional but she wasn't complaining._

_"You wish you did," she countered with an even bigger and brighter smile. Jade rolled her eyes but nodded so subtly the movement could have been missed yet Tori caught it. She nudged Jade with her hip this time and earned a small smile and a head shake. It didn't seem like much but Tori knew it was Jade's way of saying she wasn't angry anymore. In fact, she might even be enjoying herself, but there was no way in hell she would admit it._

**_{How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around? I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown.}_ **

_Jade sat with Tori at the lunch table in the Asphalt Café. They were the only ones there that day since the rest of the gang had something to do. Tori was busy enjoying a romantic novel that Jade scoffed at every once in a while._

_"You know, you don't have to stay here," Tori commented, glancing at Jade over the top of the book. She didn't have her contacts today, opting to give her eyes a rest, so she was wearing her glasses. All through the day students constantly told her how much they liked them, everyone except Jade who avoided saying anything of the sort because she was sure she liked them the most and didn't want to say anything that could be remotely construed as interested._

_"Yeah, well, I don't have anywhere better to be," Jade grumbled. Tori smiled behind her book but straightened her face to seem nonchalant._

_"Is my company really that high on the list of places Jade West likes to be?" she questioned. Jade realized how her sentence had been twisted and scowled._

_"I didn't mean it like that," she growled._

_"Whatever," Tori said, shrugging._

_"I didn't!" Jade fumed._

_"Ok, Jade," Tori replied easily._

_"Why the hell do you even read those stories?" Jade inquired, trying to change the subject. Tori lowered the book a little so that she could better see Jade over the top._

_"Because I like it, duh," she responded boldly. Jade ignored her jab to continue._

_"I just don't get it. In fairytales and stories love inspires you to be noble and courageous, but in real life it's just an all-purpose excuse for selfish behavior," she pointed out. Tori's brow rose and she finally shut the book after marking her place._

_"Why do you think that?" Tori asked her curiously._

_"Because," Jade responded stiltedly._

_"Thanks for clearing that up for me," Tori deadpanned._

_"It's true," Jade asserted._

_"Well, I can't tell if you're cynical or a really romantic cheeseball," Tori told her with a smile. Jade blushed a little at that but quickly schooled her face into her usual frown._

_"Go back to reading, Vega. You're less annoying that way," she grumbled, crossing her arms and looking away. Tori laughed but held up her book again. Jade waited for her to be absorbed before studying her concentrated features. She was really beginning to hate those glasses._

**_{I hope that you see right through my walls. I hope that you catch me 'cause I'm already falling.}_ **

_Jade was bored and not looking forward to the weekend because she knew she didn't have any plans. The rest of the gang had their own things going on and she had nothing. She listened to their varied conversations of where they were going and what they would be doing but stayed quiet. Her ears trained on Tori who was excitedly sharing what she had planned for the weekend._

_"There's this new show coming on and I've been wanting to watch it since I heard about it at the beginning of the year. With Trina out I'll have the house to myself and it will finally be peaceful," she explained. Jade groaned and rolled her eyes at her peppiness. Tori noticed and nudged Jade who was really regretting her choice to sit next to her._

_"So, what are you going to do Jade? Do you have any plans?" she asked her friend._

_"What, so you think just because I haven't happily shared my plans with you that it means I don't have any?" Jade demanded._

_"No, I never said-" Tori stuttered, trying to interrupt the approaching rant she sensed coming, but failed._

_"Because I have a lot of things planned, like, tons!" she continued waspishly._

_"Ok," Tori hesitantly accepted but Jade wasn't done._

_"I mean if you want me to cancel my plans to hang out with you while you watch some stupid show then fine. Fine, I'll do it," Jade stated, her tone tense like she really was asked to put her plans aside._

_"You don't have to-" Tori tried again._

_"I said I'll do it!" Jade shouted. Tori wisely backed down. The others watched them in confusion._

_"But you owe me, baby girl," Jade tacked on, tapping Tori under the chin before getting up and stomping away._

_"Thank you?" Tori stated, far more confused than the others at the moment. Jade smirked at her over her shoulder but kept walking, congratulating herself on another twisted job well done. Later during the weekend Tori expected Jade to storm into her house and she showed up inconveniently right in the middle of the best part. She made a big show of getting comfortable so that Tori was purposely distracted._

_"Are you done yet?" she inquired, a little agitated._

_"Yes," Jade answered with a false smile._

_"I'm glad," Tori commented with crossed arms. She looked down at her lap where Jade had kicked up her legs to rest on her after pushing off her well-worn boots. Tori's eyes ran over the slender curves that was Jade and then carefully placed her hands on Jade's legs. She tensed a little and her eyes flicked to Tori who only smiled softly while she kept her eyes on the show. Both were pushing boundaries but neither cared at that point._

_"Hey, Vega," Jade called to her, keeping her from focusing once again._

_"Yes, Jade?" she answered with a sigh._

_"If you kill someone in your sleep does that count as murder?" she wondered._

_"That's random. No, I guess not because it was just a dream," Tori answered._

_"I never said anything about a dream. I mean, if you literally killed someone while asleep," Jade rephrased._

_"Oh, well, you might not have been aware but it is still murder," Tori replied._

_"Hmm," Jade hummed in contemplation._

_"Why do you ask?" Tori wondered hesitantly._

_"No reason," Jade responded with a casual shrug. Tori eyed her warily but turned back to the show. It was quiet between them now. Tori began absentmindedly running her thumb along Jade's leg while Jade bit her tongue and silently questioned the action. The show was almost done by the time Jade needed to find something to snack on. She got up and made her way into the kitchen to search the fridge when she found something to drink instead._

_"Could you get me a bottle of water while you're in there?" Tori's voice questioned from her seat on the couch. Jade rolled her eyes and sighed a complaint but grabbed it for her anyway along with her own water and a bag of chips she found on the way. When she got back to the couch she tossed the water bottle to Tori who flinched when it hit her leg._

_"Ow, Jade, what the heck?" she demanded._

_"What?" Jade asked, unconcerned as she took a seat next to Tori._

_"You threw it at me!" she protested._

_"No, I threw it and you sat there and let it hit you," Jade corrected._

_"I don't know why I put up with you," Tori grumbled while opening the bottle for a drink. Jade took a swig of her own and then sighed appreciatively._

_"Because you like me, obviously," she told her._

_"You wish. I want you as a friend but that alone is proving difficult which makes it hard to like you at all," Tori spat back._

_"Careful, Vega. Don't bullshit a bullshitter," Jade warned with a smirk. When Tori just stared at her angrily she turned her attention to the bag of chips after she set her water bottle aside. Tori perked up next to her at the sight of the snack food._

_"Hey, what are you doing?" she questioned._

_"Eating chips. What does it look like?" Jade answered._

_"Those are mine," Tori responded. Jade glanced down at them before eating another._

_"I don't see your name on them," she clarified._

_"I'm the only one that likes them so my mom buys them for me, therefore, they're mine," Tori explained._

_"Too bad," Jade stated._

_"That's it!" Tori shouted, catching Jade's attention. She looked over at Tori just in time to be tackled on the couch. Tori almost got a hold of the chips in their scuffle but ended up falling off the couch when she reached out to snatch them away. She fell on the bag, crushing every single chip in it. She sat up with a groan and peered inside to see a bag of crumbs._

_"Aw man," she whined._

_"You could have just said please," Jade spoke up. Tori's brows slanted down and she shot Jade a glare._

_"You're a five star pain in the ass," she stated, pushing off the ground to stand then tossed the bag on the small coffee table._

_"I may also be romantically challenged but you don't see either of those things affecting me," Jade retorted flippantly. Tori took a deep breath and then looked down at Jade with a steady gaze. She was so tired of running circles. It was time to do something. Whatever happened would happen but she just had to do something. She moved closer to Jade and sat in her lap, straddling her. Jade sputtered, her eyes wide, and her hands held up away from Tori who gripped Jade's shoulders and leaned in closer._

_"You were right," she whispered._

_"Um, well, yeah, of course I am…About what though?" Jade replied in confusion and curiosity._

_"I do like you, and I want you to be my friend, but I…I also just want you. You know, as something more," Tori confessed. For once her light voice was serious and struck a chord in Jade. She couldn't believe what was happening. Her mind was blank._

_"Jade? Say something," Tori mumbled, placing her hand on Jade's cheek. Her touch made Jade shrink away for a second and then she was leaning in. Her eyes found Tori's and suddenly the wall she always had up collapsed and she had to face the fact that she wanted Tori too, in all the same ways._

_"You suck, Vega," she replied, sliding her hand behind Tori's neck and pulling her in to connect their lips in a passionate kiss that only escalated until they were pulling apart gasping for air. Silence settled between them afterwards and Tori removed herself from Jade who was busy fixing her hair. Tori's fingers had mussed it._

_"You, uh, you wanna watch a movie?" Tori asked after a while, breaking the silence._

_"You got any zombie flicks?" Jade inquired in return, desperate to put the kiss behind them for now._

_"Yeah, I think I do. My dad likes them," Tori responded._

_"Fine, put one on," Jade said with a nod. She took another sip of water while Tori got up to put on the movie. Once she sat back down and the movie commenced into a gory mess she wondered why she agreed to it. Glancing at Jade reminded her that it was worth it to see her smiling, no matter how creepily entertained she was. Jade caught her eyes at that moment and scooted closer._

_"You scared?" she questioned, lifting her arm to offer Tori a chance at cuddling with her. Tori nodded and squeezed herself right up against Jade who draped her arm over her shoulder._

_"You aren't?" Tori asked her. Jade shook her head._

_"Fuck zombies, stupid people scare me," she replied in that crass way that Tori admired and disliked all at once._

_"Jade!" she reprimanded. Jade just chuckled and grabbed Tori by the chin, bringing their lips within inches of each other._

_"Good thing you're one of the smartest people I know," she whispered before kissing her softly and then pulling away. Tori was on cloud nine. A compliment and affection from Jade West of all people. She was too happy to care about the gut wrenching gore on the screen right now. Jade smiled at Tori's idiotic grin and shook her head. Tori rested her head on Jade and intertwined their fingers. Neither of them needed to ask. It was established in the way they found common ground after conflicting with each other for so long. That was all they had wanted and now they had it with the new relationship growing between them._

**_{I'll never let our love get so close. You put your arms around me and I'm home.}_ **

_Tori was busy cleaning the apartment when she heard another over exaggerated groan. She sighed and pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose where they were slipping. She stayed where she was, knowing what all the fuss was about, but another groan gave her no choice but to drop everything, clean up, set it aside for another day, and attend to Jade. She caught the flu, despite bragging endlessly that she would never get it this year, and now Tori had to juggle taking care of her and still getting everything else done. It had only been three days but Tori felt it was three days too many. She wondered how Jade survived when she wasn't around. She swore she acted almost as bad as Trina when she was sick but she was careful never to let that thought be known because Jade would surely hunt her down for comparing her to her older sister._

_"Yeah, I know Jade. I'm getting your water," she called towards the room. She had to periodically drop off big glasses of water to keep her hydrated. She didn't want to eat with an upset stomach, making it hard for her, so water and broth was the best Tori could do. Her fever on top of all that wasn't helping matters. She grabbed a glass and filled it then strode to their room. During the day Jade might be hard to handle, but oddly, during the night when it was time to sleep, she was all lovey and cuddly and nice. Tori blamed the fever hitting a high at the end of the day._

_"Vega! Vega! Tori!" Jade yelled in a scratchy voice. Tori let out another sigh and sped up in order to get to her lovely yet abrasive fiancée faster. Despite the rough times, she still loved her._

_"I hear you, I hear you. Geez, I wear glasses not a hearing aid," Tori told her when she entered the room._

_"Finally! You know how long I waited?" Jade questioned irritably._

_"No, clue me in," Tori answered, snarky only because Jade couldn't do anything about it at the moment. Tori dreaded the day Jade got better because she might just get all her snark back, and tenfold. Jade scowled at her but continued with what she was going to say without snapping back at her._

_"I waited hours," she nagged._

_"How I wish I could shut you up with kisses, but this time, I can't. That would at least make us both happy," Tori murmured under her breath._

_"What?" Jade questioned._

_"Nothing. Here you go," Tori answered, passing Jade the glass of water. She took it and carefully took a sip. When she was done she set it aside._

_"Tori?" she addressed her slightly worn down and tired fiancée. Tori gave her attention at the sound of Jade's raspy voice softening. Well, softening as much as it could in that condition._

_"Come here," Jade said, gesturing for Tori to take the space next to her as she scooted over on the bed. Tori sat down next to Jade who offered a smile and pulled her closer._

_"Sorry if I breathe all over you and get you sick but I just wanted to tell you I love you and I appreciate all that you do. Now call it a day and get some rest. It's getting late and you need the sleep," Jade told Tori, wrapping her arms around her. She grinned and kissed Jade's cheek then cuddled up to her._

_"Aww, has sweet delusional Jade shown up early?" Tori teased playfully._

_"Hey, don't make me kiss you. I'll do it," Jade mock threatened. She kissed Tori's jaw and then leaned over her in an attempt to kiss her girl on the lips. Tori giggled and then rolled over in Jade's arms to cup her face and lay a big kiss on her lips._

_"Like that?" she inquired._

_"Yeah, like that. You know, you should have told me you weren't afraid to get sick. I could have been kissing you all this time," Jade pouted._

_"You need your rest," Tori advised._

_"When it comes to you I don't," Jade countered. Tori smiled and then brought Jade into a longer kiss. Jade pulled away and got comfortable next to Tori._

_"Night," she mumbled into her shirt._

_"Good night, Jade," Tori replied. Needless to say, Tori got sick a day later. It was perfect timing because Jade was now well enough to care for her. She couldn't say that she was naturally nurturing like Tori but it became instinctual when Tori was hurt or sick. Tori made sure to get back at Jade for all her dramatic antics when she was ill but Jade easily caught on and didn't allow it to bother her. It was Tori's turn to pout when her plan failed but Jade just kissed it away and continued to care for her. Now that her body was immune to the strain of virus she didn't mind cheering Tori up with a kiss here and there. After a tiring day and covering all that needed to be done, the couple curled up in bed, happy to have each other._

**_{The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved. I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone.}_ **

_Their date hadn't exactly gone the way Tori thought it would. Now she was pacing back and forth, frustrated yet again that Jade hadn't listened to her and they ended up with another angry stranger they had to deal with. Jade just couldn't stop herself from resorting to defensive violence._

_"I'd ask you why you're angry but I really don't care," Jade spoke up on the drive home. Apparently she forgot about the recent fight that happened but Tori clearly hadn't._

_"Wh-what?! Jade! How can you say that! You know why I'm angry!" Tori yelled. Jade looked away with a scowl._

_"I told you it was fine! It was an accident!" Tori snapped, seeing that she would have to forcefully remind Jade of what she did._

_"He purposely shoved you! You hurt your knee!" Jade retorted, thinking back to the asshole that cut in front of them in line. Tori had tried to politely tell him they were next when he asserted his claim in front of them like a cave man by pushing her back, a little too hard. Jade instantly went on the defensive._

_"For god sakes Jade, he was just a rude man. And I only scrapped my knee! It's not like its gashed open!" Tori shouted back._

_"Do you not care about your well-being?" Jade questioned. Tori groaned irritably and rolled her eyes._

_"I do, but it wasn't necessary to start a fight. Why do you insist on blowing things out of proportion?" Tori questioned her tiredly. Jade pulled up outside Tori's house and shut off the car. She sighed heavily and then looked at Tori._

_"Anyone who hurts you deserves what they get," she stated seriously._

_"But not a badly bruised face and almost broken arm!" Tori replied._

_"Well…well, it's not my fault my love for you makes me overprotective," Jade grumbled while she looked away again. Tori fought off the smile that threatened to appear. She knew Jade could get a little out of hand but she also knew it was just because she cared._

_"I know, but could you at least rein it in a little? Maybe you could take that excess love and turn it towards a different outlet?" Tori suggested with a shrug, her eyes watching Jade out of her peripheral._

_"Like?" Jade replied, her voice softening with curiosity._

_"Oh, you know…" Tori responded, reaching over to grip Jade's thigh._

_"That, I can do," Jade said with a smile. She jumped out of the car and dragged Tori out, throwing her over her shoulder. Tori laughed at Jade's playful antics and allowed herself to be carried inside and up to her room where they fell on the bed, lips already meeting._

**_{You put your arms around me and I believe that it's easier for you to let me go.}_ **

_Jade was lying on the couch in a lazy manner, her eyes on the TV. She was worn out. She got a week off and so did Tori, timing it so that they could spend it together, but Tori was running her ragged. The front door opened and Tori came in._

_"Hey Jade, I was thinking-" she began._

_"No!" Jade shouted. She sensed the frown on Tori's face._

_"I'm sorry, I interrupted you. Please, go on," Jade corrected. Tori raised a brow and then walked over to sit on the edge of the couch._

_"I was thinking we could go to the beach tomorrow," Tori finished. A pause fell between them and then Jade looked at Tori, uninterested._

_"No," she repeated in a deadpan._

_"Aww, Jade, come on! Why do you have to be so difficult?" Tori whined._

_"'Cause you set me that way. Care to change it to easy?" Jade answered._

_"Actually, yeah, how do I do that?" Tori accepted._

_"Oh, I'm sure you know," Jade said with a saucy grin leveled at her girlfriend. Tori laughed and laid down next to Jade who wrapped her in her arms._

_"To be honest I don't want to go out again. All this time off and we haven't spent it in one specific place yet," Jade pointed out._

_"And where is that?" Tori inquired. Jade's eyes flicked to the hall and Tori followed them to see she meant their bedroom._

_"You never change do you?" Tori remarked, her tone displaying her adoration._

_"Nope, and you love it," Jade said with a smile._

_"I do. I love you," Tori stated, leaning in to kiss Jade._

_"Love you," Jade replied against her lips. The kiss deepened and then Jade was carrying Tori to their room._

**_{I hope that you see right through my walls. I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling.}_ **

Jade pulled herself free from reliving the only memories that made her life great and glanced at Tori, the one responsible for that. She was still silent.

"God Tori, what happened to us?" she questioned the silence but hoped Tori answered. She missed her voice terribly. Her own voice cracked and she held back a sob as well as the rapidly approaching tears. She remembered clearly what happened to them and it was all her fault.

**_{I'll never let our love get so close. You put your arms around me and I'm home}_ **

_The after party of Jade's new movie started fine but blew out into a spiral into the ground as it progressed. Going home was a tense twenty minutes. Jade slammed the door when she entered their apartment, fury in her eyes. Tori came in after her, slamming the door too. She caught up to Jade as she headed for their room, grabbed her by the arm, and yanked her back around to face her._

_"Dammit, Jade! Why the hell do you feel the need to treat me like your possession? I **told** you I wasn't flirting with him! You-you get like this all the time! I was just being nice!" Tori shouted._

_"Yeah, you were just being nice all right! You're always just **so** nice! If you like him so much why don't you go live with **him**!" Jade screamed back._

_"We work together, nothing more! He's a member of the band! Get that through your thick skull!" Tori yelled. Tori's band had been hired to perform music at the party. Between songs Tori would talk to her band and it seemed that she was being 'too nice' in Jade's opinion. Jade growled in anger and frustration then pushed Tori out of the way._

_"Where are you going?" she demanded._

_"Out," Jade replied, heading for the door._

_"No, we have to talk about this. We can't keep ignoring our problems," Tori pointed out._

_"So now you're saying I have problems?" Jade demanded._

_"Well, no, we both do, but-" Tori tried to correct her._

_"Of course, but you're just good at fixing yours and mine because you're so perfect and I'm not capable of helping myself, let alone you, right?" Jade accused. Tori grit her teeth and shook her head._

_"Jade…stop," Tori pleaded. She could see Jade crumbling under the anger on her face. They both had tears in their eyes. Their fights had been decidedly worse each time. Neither knew what kept driving them apart but they sure weren't getting better._

_"No, I-I just can't," Jade grumbled, pushing her hair out of her face. She continued to stride towards the door but stopped when she heard Tori let out a pitiful sob. She hated hurting her. She had to leave. She had to leave and save Tori from her destruction. No one could help her. She couldn't even help herself._

_"Why are you running away again? Can't you just face your problems for once?" Tori demanded, pushed to the edge and letting her own anger loose. Jade's frame went rigid. She shot a deadly glare at Tori over her shoulder to see her standing just as stone still, tears running down her face. A single tear escaped but Jade brushed it away roughly. She shook her head and then continued to the door. She stopped with her hand on the doorknob._

_"I'll be back for my things," she muttered under her breath, but the oppressive silence between them made it easy for Tori to hear. Those words broke both their hearts. Jade left that night and didn't even return for her things. She sent Cat instead. Tori internally called her a coward but outwardly she cried and talked it out with Cat who was happy to support her. Andre was even called in eventually when she wasn't getting better. As for Jade, she wallowed in her stupidity and self-hate. She was running from her problems and she was a coward and she knew Tori felt the same way. She couldn't even blame her. She wasn't worthy of Tori's love. She didn't deserve Tori and she never would so she told herself to stay away. That was when she ran into Beck, and as always, he found a way closer to her. This time though, she couldn't use him to completely forget like she had in the past. Tori just had too strong of a hold on her heart._

**_{I try my best to never let you in to see the truth. And I've never opened up, I've never truly loved till you put your arms around me and I believe that it's easier for you to let me go.}_ **

Jade was openly crying now but she was glad she was still a silent crier because they would have thrown her out by now. She gripped Tori's hand and leaned down to kiss her palm.

"I'm so sorry, Tori. It's all my fault. You did all you could and I stepped all over you. I took you for granted. I made such a stupid, fucking, mistake by walking out on you and I wish I could take it back. I really wish I could. You were the only one who could put up with my shit. I don't even know how you did it for so long. Please, please Tori. Wake up," Jade begged. She squeezed her eyes shut and rested her head on the bed. Her tears soaked the sheets while her mind took her back to the moment she knew she was in love with Victoria Vega.

**_{I hope that you see right through my walls. I hope that you catch me 'cause I'm already falling.}_ **

_Jade sat on her bed, curled against the headboard, and tried not to let the traitorous tears fall. She wouldn't cry over this. She couldn't. All her things were packed in boxes, ready to go when she would have to leave, which, according to the clock was very soon. She sighed heavily and ran her hand through her hair. She didn't know what to do. She finally told her parents that she was dating Tori and they greatly disagreed. Well, that was an understatement. They chewed her out and demanded she leave as soon as she turned eighteen. She had nowhere to go and she refused to ask to live with Tori. Her understanding girlfriend made it clear that should things not go well she would be happy to help, but Jade only nodded and asked to change the subject. Tori being Tori agreed with a chaste kiss and then they were on to a different subject. Jade glanced at the time once more and then stood up to start carrying her stuff out to her car when her door opened._

_"I know, I'm going," she grumbled, her head down so she didn't see who had come in._

_"Yeah, you are, and you're coming with me," Tori responded, making Jade look up in surprise._

_"Go away, Vega," she commanded, wiping at her face in case tears had fallen._

_"No, you just don't want me to see you crying," Tori remarked._

_"I'm not crying…ok, fine, I might be close to it, but it's just because I'm so pissed," Jade admitted._

_"I figured," Tori said with a single nod while she walked further into the room._

_"What are you doing here anyway?" Jade demanded. Tori shrugged and then walked over to take Jade in her arms._

_"I had a feeling this would happen so I talked to my parents-" she began, but Jade growled._

_"Dammit, Vega! I said-" Jade yelled, but Tori turned it right back on her._

_"No, Jade, listen to me. I care about you. I care about you so much and I want to do all I can to make you happy. If providing you with a place to stay helps you then that's what I'll do," Tori told her, brown eyes focused on Jade's blue-green._

_"Tori…" she whispered, looking away. Tori brought a hand to her face and made her look at her again._

_"You're welcome to follow me home. It's your choice," she mumbled, leaning in to kiss Jade softly. Her heart felt like it was ready to burst. Here she was at the lowest of the low. Others in her position wouldn't have such an opportunity as this. Was she really going to lose out on something that great? No, she wasn't. As weak and helpless as she felt right now it didn't bother her that much because it was only Tori who ever saw her like this. Tori noticed the sad gleam in Jade's eyes and saw her bottom lip tremble and just knew Jade was seconds from giving in._

_"Tori?" she muttered._

_"Yeah?" Tori replied, brushing Jade's cheek._

_"I love you," Jade stated, her tone so clear and certain. Tori's mouth fell open for a second in shock and then her smile practically lit up the room._

_"I love you too," she replied, tears of happiness in her eyes. Jade chuckled uncertainly and wiped a tear from Tori's defined cheekbone. She wasn't comfortable with feelings, even her own, which she was currently struggling with._

_"Don't cry, Tor. You'll make me cry and that just can't happen," Jade teased her._

_"I'm just so happy you feel the same and I'm so glad you're agreeing to stay with me-" Tori began to ramble._

_"Whoa, whoa, whoa, did I say that?" Jade questioned, jokingly disagreeing. Tori put her hands on her hips and gave Jade a disapproving glare but it was just as playful._

_"You better," Tori warned, pulling Jade closer by the front of her shirt._

_"Oooh, I'm so scared," Jade mocked, her nose brushing Tori's own._

_"You should be," she whispered. Jade smirked and pressed her lips to Tori's before pulling back and staring deeply into her eyes._

_"Yeah, let's get the hell out of here. I want to be gone before my parents show up," Jade finally agreed. Tori let out an excited squeal and rushed to start carrying Jade's things out. Together they made fast progress and Jade drove away, tailing Tori's car on their way to her house. Things were looking up. Jade should have known Tori wouldn't take no for an answer. Her incredible girlfriend was always there for her. Always._

**_{I'll never let our love get so close. You put your arms around me and I'm home.}_ **

Jade must have fallen asleep because she groggily opened her tired eyes and realized that a warm hand was running over her own. It felt good, comforting, and strangely familiar. She grumbled sleepily and then lifted her head to lock eyes with amazing warm browns. She shot up straight and her own blue-green eyes widened.

"T-Tori, you're awake," she said in a mix of relief and shock. Tori smiled weakly but nodded.

"How are you? Do you feel ok? Should I call a nurse, get a doctor?" Jade questioned, flustered. Tori giggled quietly and shook her head. She reached out to calm Jade with a hand on her forearm.

"Jade, relax," she whispered. Jade sat down on the bed, eyes watering as she looked at Tori. She cupped her worn face and then leaned in to rest her forehead on hers.

"I was so s-scared, Tor. I thought I would l-lose you," Jade mumbled, her voice already wavering.

"I thought I was a goner too. I didn't know where I was. I felt so lost and it was dark, but then I heard your voice and all I knew was that I had to find my way back to you. If I did that then I knew I would be ok," Tori explained. Jade smiled happily.

"Did you hear everything?" she asked her.

"Yup. Apology, groveling, the works," Tori confirmed.

"Tori," Jade whined, but chuckled.

"What? I did. I'm so glad you're here Jade, and I want you to know I forgive you," Tori responded.

"No, don't. I don't deserve your forgiveness. What I did to you…even I can't forgive myself for that. You've done so much for me and I threw it all away," Jade lamented. Tori shook her head and lightly gripped Jade's hand in hers.

"I don't care what you think. I love you for you, including all you're imperfections. I always have and I always will. You should know that by now," Tori told her.

"Yeah but, I was a coward. How can you-" Jade began, but Tori just rolled her eyes and pulled Jade into a kiss to shut her up. When they broke apart Jade stared at Tori, at a loss for words.

"Oh, have I finally made you speechless?" Tori teased. Jade cracked a smile and shook her head.

"I love you, Tori. I'll do everything I can to make up for what I've done to you," Jade vowed. Tori pulled her close and held her in her arms as tightly as she could manage in her weakened state. She wished she could get closer but she was slowly becoming aware of her broken leg and aching back. Jade sat in her girl's arms and felt more than loved. She felt complete.

"You already have," Tori mumbled in Jade's ear. They held each other and let the tears fall. When they were both done crying and simply laying in each other's arms Jade insisted that she call in a nurse. Tori agreed and Jade left to do just that, but before she could, Tori yanked her back to kiss her once more. They shared a loving smile and then Tori released Jade. She came back with a nurse who politely moved Jade aside so she could properly check Tori's condition. Soon, calls were being made and the room was suddenly full of activity. Despite it all Tori sought out Jade who gestured that she was leaving for now. Tori offered her a smile and nodded. Jade returned it and then left the room. It was early morning now and the sun was barely coming up as Jade traversed the parking lot to her car. On the way she ran into the Vega family who had just arrived.

"Jade? What the heck are you doing here?" Trina demanded with an angry scowl. Mr. and Mrs. Vega both stood with expressions crossed between concerned and worried.

"I've been here since Tori was brought in," Jade replied tiredly, her voice lacking its usual bite. She wasn't in the mood to deal with the annoying diva of the family.

"Still?" Trina questioned, taken aback.

"What do you mean still?" Jade asked, slightly confused.

"You were asleep when we finally made it here so you didn't see us. You're telling us you've been by Tori's side this whole time?" Mrs. Vega spoke up.

"Yeah," Jade confirmed. Mrs. Vega soon had tears in her eyes and then she was yanking Jade into a hug.

"You still love her?" she asked when she pulled back.

"Of course. I'll always love Tori," Jade answered.

"So what's this thing with Beck?" Mr. Vega remarked, staring down Jade with a suspicious frown. Jade looked away and crossed her arms.

"It was a mistake. I shouldn't have ever walked out on Tori and Beck doesn't deserve to be used like that. I've already talked to Tori so now I need to talk to Beck. I was just on my way out to do that while Tori's being checked for any complications," Jade explained. Mr. Vega opened his mouth, ready to verbally bash Jade for hurting his baby girl, but Mrs. Vega saw this and gripped his arm.

"Later, honey. We have to see Tori," she implored. The cop's frown grew before sliding off his haggard face. He nodded. Now Trina was ready to argue but Mrs. Vega just grabbed her arm too and began to drag her family towards the hospital building. She managed to shoot Jade an encouraging smile over her shoulder before they disappeared inside. Now Jade remembered why she liked Mrs. Vega so much. She turned away and continued to her car, dreading what she had to do but knowing it was the right thing. It should have been done earlier, or not at all. She should have tried to work out their differences with Tori instead of run away. She should have and could have but she didn't and it did no good to dwell on what was already done. The chance to correct it was happening now and she wasn't going to miss out on it. She returned home to find Beck waiting for her. He was sitting on the couch in his rumpled suit and looked over at Jade when she walked in. He rushed to stand, his dark eyes hurt and questioning.

"Why?" he asked simply. Jade loved Beck to a certain extent, and she might always feel that way, but Tori was a step above him and it took her almost dying to see that she was the most important person in Jade's life. It was only fair that she told Beck and hope that she wouldn't lose him in the process because she knew he still loved her more than she could ever love him. It hurt her to have to do it but it had to be done.

"Tori," Jade answered, voice conveying defeat. Beck's brows creased and then flew up in realization.

"You went back to her, didn't you? Did you cheat on me?" he questioned her. Jade hated when his voice remained calm. She would have preferred him yelling. At least then she would know what he was feeling. But Beck rarely if ever showed how he felt, and in a way, he was worse than her in that department.

"No. I may be many things but I will never be a cheater," she replied, slightly offended he even considered it.

"I'm sorry. I know you wouldn't do that," he said, running a hand through his hair. Jade looked away before taking a deep breath and telling him the truth.

"She was in an accident. Some drunk crashed into her. She fell into a coma. When the hospital called I just had to see her. I had to make sure she was ok, because…because…" Jade tried to explain.

"Because you still love her," Beck finished for her. Jade nodded, her eyes tentatively finding his again.

"Is she ok?" he asked.

"Yeah. She just woke up. It seemed like she wasn't going to at first, but then she did, and, and I was overjoyed. I was so glad she pulled through and I was the first one there for her. I sat with her since the call yesterday," Jade answered. Beck breathed out a heavy sigh and forced a smile.

"Damn. To think I've been sitting here coming up with possible reasons for why you left me at the altar, but none of them comes close to the truth. I feel like such a jerk now," Beck admitted.

"No, I'm the jerk. I can't believe I did that, but at the same time, I'm glad I did. I would have lost her if I hadn't. I don't want to say she comes first and always will but…" Jade tried to say.

"But she will. I know. I get it. What we had was good but it's been over for too long," Beck agreed. Jade's eyes saddened and then she stepped forward to hug Beck.

"I'm sorry," she said, her voice muffled in his chest.

"No, I get it. I'll always love you Jade, but all I ever wanted was for you to be happy. If Tori is who you want and who you need then go to her. She needs you more than I do right now. You should be over there with her, not here," he advised. Jade pulled away to smile gratefully at him.

"Thank you, Beck," she told him, kissing his cheek and then running out the door. He watched her go with a heavy heart but smiled anyway. Those two really were inseparable. Jade made it back to the hospital just in time to hear the news that Tori would be spending another week in the hospital to make sure things were going well before she was allowed to go home. In that time, Jade and Tori talked any time they had alone. Tori welcomed Jade back into their apartment and Jade began the move while Tori was still at the hospital. By the time she returned home it was to Jade all settled in with her again. While Tori recovered she cooked and cleaned and catered to everything Tori wanted or needed. She was determined to make Tori as happy as possible. Tori saw this and assured her that just having her back made her happy. She proved this by purposely pushing Jade's buttons.

At first, Jade didn't react and held back her irritation so Tori pushed her more until it began to seep through and then she was back to her occasional angry ranting days that Tori found she missed in a weird way. She would grin, seeing Jade in all her imperfect glory, and think that she could never love another person other than her. After all, she tried but couldn't bring herself to date anyone after Jade left, so she wanted to return the engagement ring to Jade's ring finger, where it was meant to be, as soon as possible. The moment she did wasn't as sweet as the first time it was done, during a day spent together complete with dinner and making love then ending with Tori's proposal, but it was still just as simple as the first time. It was Jade who took Tori back to their now shared room and sat her down on the bed then walked over to pick up the ring. She dusted it off and turned to Tori.

"Can I be yours again?" she asked, vulnerability in her tone and hope in her eyes. She wanted Tori to be sure she was making the right choice in accepting her back. It was all up to her, because as much as Jade denied it, she was always and would always be at her mercy. Tori stood and moved to Jade's side, taking the ring and slipping it on her finger. Her own ring never left her hand since the day they were engaged.

"Of course, Jade. I never stopped loving you," she stated, looking into Jade's eyes. She blinked back tears and then captured Tori in a kiss. Soon she was backed onto the bed and the day ended naked in each other's arms, happily sleeping. Now that it was back where it belonged and not sitting gathering dust on her dresser where it had been, out in the open as a constant reminder to Tori, she was excited at the prospect of eventually marrying Jade one day. Hopefully it was soon. She also managed to cure Jade's need to make any possible admirer run for the hills by being so overly affectionate and supporting of her actions that it was a punishment in itself and made Jade conscious of what she was doing so she would stop. Sure, they still fought, but both made it a point to confront the conflict together and do what they could to make it better. And by the end of every day they made it a goal not to go to bed with any residual conflict. They were slowly patching up the damage until they were back where they left off, except this time, it was even better. Jade also took it a step further and began planning for the wedding they should have had. Tori was ecstatic when she was told.

"Really?" she asked Jade, her arms around her neck while she sat in her lap on the couch.

"Yes, really. After all this crap I know now that no matter what we disagree on I want to fight through it all with you every single day of my life until we die because I love you with all my heart," Jade more than confidently confirmed. Tori kissed her hard and then pulled back just enough to get lost in her eyes.

"Love you," she whispered in return. Jade got up, holding Tori in her arms, and took her to their room where they got comfortable for the night. Soon they were lost to a deep restoring sleep. Life together was hard but the struggle was worth it because Jade and Tori both had each other once more. It wasn't a perfect relationship, far from it, but it was still special and unique to them. It worked and that was all that mattered. If there was anything Jade walked away with after all they went through it was that she would have never truly known love until it was taken away. Now she understood that perfectly and knew the pain of losing the one person she would ever truly love. It always felt so much better with Tori by her side.

**{You put your arms around me and I'm home.}**


End file.
